Striving vs Receiving

"Building the Ark" by James Tissot, ca. 1900

I’m learning each day the difference between striving and receiving. Striving is mostly how I operated the first 50 years of my life. Set a vision or goal. Put a plan in place. Work until it happens. This may sound great in theory. But in reality, the vision was often either too hazy or too rigid. The plan I created was based on wishful thinking (which is scarcity mindset disguised as faith) and/or assumptions. The work I did was often based on obstinance and proving others wrong.

In reflecting on the past 30+ years, I have noticed that the most joyful, meaningful experiences and accomplishments didn’t really have any of the traits of striving. They were mostly received: becoming a father, my closest relationships, building a heart-centric business, my spiritual awakenings and revelations, adventures and experiences.

There was an investment of effort in all of these, of course. But there was receiving first. In all of the good things of life, I was an active co-creator but I rarely “made it happen”. In most cases, I had the foresight to see these moments as opportunities and apply execution and courage. I had a sense they were each important and that I needed to pay attention.

In my experience, it is nearly impossible to be in striving mode and receiving mode at the same time. Striving is a mindset; a survival mechanism. Receiving is opening up. It is the surrender of striving. Striving is “I have to”. Receiving is “I get to”. And we have the authority to choose which perspective we adopt in every situation.

Receiving is not a passive thing. Effort plays an essential effort. Effort is applied energy. It is doing our part in the co-creation process. It is how we invest the gifts of Spirit, time, gifts, resources into our daily lives. When we have a receiving mindset, we can more clearly see where to apply effort. Things like …

• Quieting the mind

• Entering into the heart

• Taking care of our body

• Staying present

• Investing attention in relationships

• Prioritizing daily tasks of home and work

• Creating art in some form

• Tidying up our corner of the world

• Looking for opportunities to serve

• Getting out in nature

When we’re striving, we miss most of this. It makes sense. Striving is a linear approach based primarily on fear. It is about possession, power, process. As such, most of these things are viewed as non-essential.

If you’re in receiving mode, effort is done out of love. None of the above practices becomes a lifeless rote or resentful obligation. Instead, ritual is born, boundaries are established and meaning and joy can be experienced in each moment.

Whether you are a religious person or more secular, I think the ancient story of Noah’s Ark is a perfect framework for this. God didn’t build the ark. Noah did. But he didn’t strive. He received what God provided in the blueprint and the materials. In turn, Noah provided effort.

Journal prompt:

What are you trying to make happen instead of let happen?

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