Revisiting Our Roles: A Straight, White, American Male's Perspective on Change and Social Responsibility
I want to start what might be a difficult conversation with my fellow SWAMs…
SWAM is a social labels acronym I created for people that look like me: Straight, White, American, and Male. I’m starting this conversation because I see too many of us resisting change in the name of personal freedom. I see too many of us embracing authoritarianism in the name of security. I see too many of us being consumed unnecessarily by anger, fear, and confusion. I also see too much insularism and apathy.
We can have a positive role in helping our country and the world evolve to be more inclusive, humane, and free. But not if we don’t understand our role in how we got here.
As you read this essay, I encourage you to keep an open mind and remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these social labels. I am not attacking you. I am simply challenging our perceptions of power and our levels of social consciousness.
Of course, we SWAMs are not all the same. Nor do I claim to represent all SWAMs. We have different backgrounds, generations, levels of incomes, personality traits, strengths, weaknesses, habits, etc. But we do represent the 4 of the top 5 power centers that created this country and its systems. Many of us could add a “C” as well, for Christian. More on that to come.
The world we SWAMs created (much of it an illusion designed to fit our beliefs) is changing. Here are some key statistics that show the level of change:
Sexual orientation: A Gallop Poll conducted earlier this year shows that approximately 7.6% of U.S. adults identify as LGBTQ+, a significant increase from 3.5% in 2012.
Race/ethnicity: The multiracial population of the US grew from 9 million in 2010 to 33.8 million in 2020, marking a 276% increase.
Citizenship: The number of non-native born US citizens is at an all-time high of 13.9% (unless you consider the colonial era). This does not include the estimated 3% of the population that is undocumented.
Gender: Although there remains a lack of representation from women of color, the number of women in senior leadership roles (corporate, nonprofit, and elected officials) is at an all time high and continues to grow every year.
All humans experience a perception of reality that is filtered by our belief systems and social conditioning. For most Americans, the two key belief systems that inform someone’s paradigm are religious views and political ideology.
For SWAMs, religion and politics hold significant influence because the power centers that we represent are often formed and informed through these factors. For a significant portion of our population (mostly made up of SWAMs), religious affiliation and political party literally create their perception of reality. They determine good vs bad, wrong vs right, safe vs threat, and much more.
For SWAMs that identify as “conservative” and or “Christian”, the changing dynamics of power often bring up fear and uncertainty, which are common reactions when the sources of your identity and your power are being challenged. Unfortunately, fear and uncertainty are the two easiest emotions to manipulate by propaganda. The craving to be seen and heard trumps rational thought and critical thinking.
Although generally supportive of the rights of non-SWAMs, progressives and centrist SWAMs have their own issues with these changes. Some progressive SWAMs are “paternalistically patriarchal”; holding the unconscious bias that non-SWAMs need their protection and guidance. With higher incomes and education levels, centrist SWAMs are often insulated from their privilege; endorsing equality but doing little to actually create systemic change.
I spent most of my first 40+ years identifying as a “conservative Christian”. While generally supportive of women, people of color, queer people, and non-citizens (which often created conflicts with other conservative Christians), I definitely had an individualistic perspective. I did not understand systemic injustice so I often poked fun at people who used terms like “toxic masculinity”, “patriarchy”, “privilege”, “social justice”. My general view was that although America had an unjust past, we were now a global symbol of justice and diversity. Interestingly, I still hold the view that the US is a noble experiment for freedom, opportunity, and self-expression … AND we have a shit ton of systemic work to do so that everyone is represented. Two things can be true at the same time.
I have pledged in these essays to only write about that which I have experienced or can experience. In that spirit, for the remainder of this essay, I’m speaking directly to other SWAMs about each of the four social labels/power centers; mostly to SWAMs who identify as conservative and/or Christian.
I am going to start with religion because, as I said, that is such a dominant shaper of the views of those I’m speaking to.
I plead with you to open your hearts and re-read the gospels. In fact, read ONLY the gospels, especially the red letters. The Bible is 100% the conjecture and opinion of humans based on their own biases, experiences, and status, but at least the gospels and Jesus’ words give some perspective on what he believed and taught. If you do this, you will see how much Jesus despised hypocrisy, abuse of power, and superiority in any form.
“If Jesus viewed the desire to acquire political power to be a temptation of the devil, why do so many American Christians fight to acquire as much of this political power as they can?”
― Keith Giles
With your eyes opened, you will see the iniquitous and dehumanizing theology of Christian Nationalism. You will see how dangerous it is to democracy. You will see that the constitutionally protected right to practice your religion is not also the right to acquire power to force other people to practice it (there is much to learn from our Jewish American friends on this matter).
You will see that the person(s) you are selecting to lead you do not care about you, let alone your soul. You will see that it is a giant grift based on manipulating your fears about the changes in the world.
Straight:
“My queerness is not a vice, is not deliberate, and harms no one.”
― Natalie Clifford Barney
Queer people are not a problem to fix. They pose no threat to society. And most importantly, they pose no threat to YOU. In fact, quite the opposite. The effort to dehumanize and erase trans people, drag queens, etc is a political foil. Not only is it dehumanizing, it is a distraction from real issues that desperately need our attention.
It’s also not enough to be tolerant of queer people. We must adopt a stance of being queer affirming. We should view any attempt to suppress their autonomy and freedom of expression as threats to us as well. And because most of the anti-queer movement is made up of Christians, those of us that also identify as Christian must challenge their flawed theology.
White:
“The customary way for white people to think about the topic of race—and it is only a topic to white people—is to ask, “How would it be if I were black?” The way to approach it, I think, is…to seriously consider what it is like to be white.”
― Fran Lebowitz
Privilege may have become a political cliche, but it is real. Every predominate system that has been created in our country has been done so by us, for us - and almost always at the expensive of others. Instead of denying your privilege, use it to promote justice and equality! Instead of making lip-service or giving donations to causes, speak up and get involved. Most of all, LISTEN. Find non-white people and listen to their experiences. Educate yourself by seeking out and consuming non-white content (I highly recommend starting here and here.)
American:
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness…”
- Mark Twain
Although I’ve been to all 50 states, my global travel has been quite limited. While I’ve never been xenophobic or nationalistic and I was always aware of our dark history, I did subscribe to the idea of America as a “chosen” nation. Being partnered with a Nicaraguan/French immigrant the last 3+ years has revealed how geocentric my views have been.
While I believe the US is an exceptional place, I no longer believe in American exceptionalism. This is one reason I’m so pro-immigration and why we must streamline our immigration process if we want to take full advantage of our strengths as a nation. Of course, this also includes responsible border security. Although I think we have much to learn from other countries, I don’t believe in importing European-style social democracy, a system and ideology that are heavily reliant on national identity.
Male:
“Being a man was not the opposite of being feminine or emotional. It was the opposite of being childish and immature. It meant having the courage to face your fears and responsibilities, but also not being afraid of your emotions or weaknesses.”-
- Matthew Ryder
Patriarchy also hurts men. It reduces what it means to be a man. It forces us to mask our emotions, hide our trauma, and close our hearts. It causes men to think that the behavior of people like Trump, Andrew Tate, Tucker Carlson and other misogynists is what it means to be a “man”. This is not just demeaning to others. It reduces the essence of masculinity to something dark, consumptive, and abusive. As such, American men are in a lot of spiritual and emotional pain. We need safe places and safe ways to express this pain. Otherwise, it comes out as violence (to ourselves and others) and/or as toxic anger. Go to therapy. Start a meditation practice. Join a men’s group. Do whatever it takes to breakaway from your old definitions of masculinity.
One more point about being a man…
If you’ve never had a uterus, you have the right to your opinion, but you have NO RIGHT to pass laws based on your beliefs about abortion. At this point, we either need to be an ally for women’s reproductive rights or sit down and shut the fuck up.
So what is our role as SWAMs in the new society that’s emerging?
Well, for many, it starts with stopping…
Stop telling people different than you that you love them, but then vote for people who will pass policies that will harm them.
Stop using cliches like “All lives matter” or “I don’t see color” or “I don’t care that you’re gay. Just don’t rub it in my face” or “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” These may make you feel better about yourself, but it is offensive and demeaning to marginalized groups.
Stop playing the victim card. Yes, there are some economic issues that disproportionately impact SWAMs but you are not a victim. You aren’t being canceled. You aren’t being targeted. Replacement theory is a clickbait scam.
Stop being silent. Especially if you are around other SWAMs who say things that are sexist, homophobic, racist, etc. Silence or laughing along with is affirmation.
There is much more we can start doing but it will require social consciousness. We can start listening, start seeking to understand, start looking at society as a complex adaptive system. From there, we can see where we can contribute to social change with our influence, resources, systemic power, and more.
If you are a business leader, you can fully embrace conscious business practices like DEI, ethical marketing, livable wages, environmental diligence, etc.
At a minimum, we can point out systemic injustices. We can demand that our elected officials focus on real problems.
Most of all, realize that change is evolutionary. And everything is designed to bend towards good. So fighting against change doesn’t prevent change, it creates obsoletion.
Do you disagree with me on any of these ideas? If so, I invite you to have a friendly, vigorous debate with me on my podcast. Send me an email at justin at FosterThinking dot com.