Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and Your Brand
“Make the world react to you” - this is both a brand mantra and a personal empowerment reminder to everyone that I coach.
Sounds bold, right? Yes, if you believe it. We are deeply programmed to fear revealing our true selves because vulnerability exposes us to judgment, rejection, and criticism. In a world that often values conformity over authenticity, showing our true colors can feel like a risk to our social and professional standing. Moreover, past experiences of being misunderstood or hurt may reinforce this fear.
This fear shows up in all aspects of life, but for the purposes of this article, I am focusing on how it impacts your personal brand as a leader. When you hide your authentic self, you can appear inauthentic or inconsistent, undermining trust and credibility; creating a disconnection between your true values and the image you project. This fear is universal to all humans but especially to those of us who deal with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).
RSD is an extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception—real or imagined—of rejection, criticism, or failure. Often associated with PTSD and ADHD, RSD affects many individuals who may already struggle with attention and impulse control, adding another layer of complexity to their emotional and professional lives. For solo entrepreneurs and CEOs/founders, RSD can significantly impact your personal brand, influencing how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you.
Key Areas Where RSD Shows Up in Your Brand
Self-Perception: RSD can make you overly critical of yourself, doubting your abilities and achievements. This self-doubt can hinder your confidence, which is a vital component of a strong personal brand.
Decision Making: The fear of rejection can lead to indecisiveness. You might avoid taking risks or making bold decisions that are essential for growth and innovation.
Communication: Effective communication is crucial for building a personal brand. RSD can make you overly sensitive to feedback, leading to defensiveness or reluctance to share your ideas.
Networking: Building a network of supporters and collaborators is key for any entrepreneur. RSD can make networking stressful, as you might fear judgment or rejection from peers and potential partners.
Public Perception: How you react to rejection or criticism in public settings can shape how others perceive you. If RSD leads to visible distress or withdrawal, it can affect your reputation and relationships.
My Experience with RSD
I have personally suffered from RSD, and it profoundly impacted my journey as an entrepreneur. For many, the fear of rejection can lead to over-preparation, hesitation, and even avoidance of opportunities. That was not my case.
For me, the fear of rejection often activated aggressive and controlling behaviors. Instead of appearing vulnerable, I would react with anger or manipulation as an attempt to control situations and people to avoid feeling rejected. This approach led to strained relationships with colleagues and partners and created the perception of being intimidating and dominating.
RSD also often leads to masking as we learn to hide our true feelings and behaviors to avoid perceived rejection or criticism. I used to adopt a facade of confidence, with a lot of intellectual flexing and/or contrarianism - leaving the perception of being arrogant or condescending.
I am grateful to say that through therapy, self-work, and mindfulness, I have overcome RSD and even now harness it to my advantage by using its sensitivity to become more empathetic and attuned to others' needs, creating deeper and richer relationships in all aspects of my life.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
― Lao Tzu
Tips for Managing RSD and Strengthening Your Brand Using the 8 C's of the Core Self
Embracing our authentic selves requires courage, self-acceptance, and the belief that our true identity is worth sharing, but when you are fixated or paralyzed by RSD, “make the world react to you” seems more like a reminder of fears than a reminder of your awesomeness. Thankfully, there are number of resources and models for centering in our authentic selves. One of my favorite tools is the 8 C’s of the core self.
The 8 C's of the core self—Curiosity, Calmness, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, and Connectedness—offer a framework for managing RSD and reinforcing your personal brand.
Curiosity: Approach your fears and triggers with curiosity. Instead of avoiding rejection, ask yourself why it affects you so deeply. Tip: Keep a journal to explore your reactions to perceived rejection and identify patterns or underlying beliefs.
Calmness: Practice centering techniques to maintain calmness in the face of rejection or criticism. Tip: Engage in quick mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises to stay grounded and composed.
Clarity: Re-connect frequently to your values, strengths, and goals. A clear sense of self can help you stay focused on your vision, regardless of external feedback.Tip: Regularly revisit your mission and core values to reinforce your purpose and direction.
Compassion: Show compassion to yourself when facing rejection. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and remind yourself that rejection is a part of the growth process.Tip: Practice self-compassion exercises, through self-reassurance and forgiving yourself for perceived failures.
Confidence: Build your confidence by focusing on your achievements and strengths. True confidence is crucial for projecting a strong personal brand.Tip: Create a “wins” list where you regularly note down your accomplishments
Courage: Practice emotional courage at every opportunity - especially related to empathy towards yourself and others.Tip: Make a list of feelings you tend to avoid or suppress and then consider how to apply courage to them.
Creativity: Use creative thinking to shift from seeing RSD as a problem to solve to a source of innovation and imagination.Tip: Engage in a creative practice to gain a sense of perspective and control.
Connectedness: Foster connections with supportive friends who understand and accept you as you are, especially other solo entrepreneurs and founders.Tip: Create (or join) a mastermind that encourages authentic expression, collaboration, and group support.
Conclusion
RSD can be isolating and exhausting, especially for solo entrepreneurs and CEOs/founders. The fear of rejection and criticism can lead to self-doubt, stress, and withdrawal, making it challenging to maintain authentic connections and embrace new experiences. However, by understanding RSD and implementing strategies aligned with the 8 C's of the core self, you can transform these challenges into opportunities for growth. By managing its impact, building resilience, and harnessing your sensitivity as a strength, you can embrace your authentic self and confidently present your unique worth to the world.
If you struggle with RSD as a leader and want to talk with someone about it, please reach out to me. I’d love to listen and support you.