Love Never Intimidates.

There’s a TikTok/Reels meme with audio saying, “I’m not intimidating. You’re intimidated.” I’ve always found that to be clever … mostly because I hadn’t really considered that I was intimidating. I’m an 8 in the Enneagram and a near 100 D (dominance) in the DISC. And I’m a Scorpio. So I know I am challenging and direct, but I never thought of myself as intimidating.

In fact, the idea that I’m intimidating in any form made me laugh. As a kid, there was nothing intimidating about me. I was the skinny, clumsy late-bloomer from the weird church who knew a lot of trivia. Inside, I was even less intimidating. I was deeply insecure about my looks, my body, my worth. I had no idea who I was back then but I do know that I’ve always burned hot. I struggled to control my tongue and my temper. This often led to physical confrontations with my parents and kids at school - all of which led me to frequently getting my ass kicked.

I’m certain that my volatile and violent childhood caused me to seek conditions of power and control. I spent 25 - 40 shaping myself into a man that I would be proud of - a man that was confident, assertive, and dominant when needed. I wanted to be a strong, desirable husband and a respected father. I wanted to be a respected entrepreneur and thought leader. So I went about working on all that. I got in great shape. I made a living as an entrepreneur. I wrote books. I gave speeches.