Grow where you're planted?

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In the years I spent as part of a fundamentalist church, “Grow where you’re planted” was a common trope. It was typically used as an admonishment to someone’s complaining about their circumstances.

I never liked this phrase. We aren’t plants. We can move. We are the only creatures with the gifts of consciousness and choice. Plus, it is the antithesis of Jesus’ teachings.

I understand the intended sentiment of the phrase. But I also observed it was most often used as an excuse to do nothing other than taking care of your family and consistently attending church services.

The phrase is an adapted relic of survival. While its roots are in hope, it’s usage in contemporary times encourages hopelessness. Its subtext is that your life circumstances were determined by God (or fate) and trying to improve or change them is wrong or foolish or risky. This leads to a deflated sense that “this is my life now” - combined with a dogged determination to make the best of it.

If you are in a true survival situation that you can’t change, it is a great reminder. Almost Stoic or Zen in those circumstances. But if you are not in true survival mode, the phrase is a significant limiter. Some examples …

It blinds you from imagination, possibility, creative thinking.

It blocks you from responding to your calling (we all have one).

It causes you to compromise your desires, your needs.

It prompts you to lower your standards and expectations.

If this is a common mindset you find yourself in, I ask you to consider these questions:

• How is fear influencing my perspectives and decisions? There have been many times in my life where I let fear hold me back from decisions I knew I was being called to make. Fear’s influence kept me in situations much longer than necessary. I believe this is the essence of “The truth shall make you free.” Heeding your calling and the prompts of your soul set you free from the influence of fear.
  

• What resources do I have and how am I using them? This-is-my-life-now reduces how you take inventory of what you’re working with. I encourage you to write down every resource you have - material, spiritual, intellectual, relational - and then examine if you are using these resources to grow and evolve.
  

• What is the boldest move you could make right now? I’ve asked this in some form since I was about 6 years old. It has guided me to almost every significant move or change or experience of my life. Once you understand fear’s influence and take inventory of your life, it is time for action. What are you going to do? Today! What’s the plan? What’s the strategy?

Case in point is Chuck Noland, the character played by Tom Hanks in “Cast Away.” He made the best of a truly life-threatening situation. He survived it. And even got to a point of actually making a life on the island. But it wasn’t enough. He wanted to go home. So he risked everything to make that happen.

“Grow where you’re planted” is one of many unconscious conditionings of a survival mind. I encourage you to examine other narratives and stories you are telling yourself that are based on fear and survival. It is also important to remember that there is no shame in the struggle to overcome difficult challenges and circumstances. The issue is staying in them and calling it a life.