Believing in Love
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With Love - JF
Some of my fond memories from a tumultuous, and often violent, childhood are centered around music. In particular, Texas country legend, Don Williams. He sang about things that made me think, question and wonder … including about believing in love.
All these years later, I think I know what he meant.
I did not experience much love as a child. The primary source of unconditional love was from my paternal grandmother, who we called Nana. I’ve written about her before. She was one of the most loving, kind and fiery women I’ve ever known. She left no doubt that she loved you - but it was in an active way. No passivity or theory or obligation. I’m certain that Nana believed in love. And that it came from a higher power.
Until truly and fully connecting with my heart in late 2020, I don’t know that I believed in love like that. I certainly loved my family and friends. But I was still holding on to a lot of conditioning related to love. That it was dispensed by a judging God or person based on merit. That it was earned through certain behaviors. Or that it was just another pleasant human emotion. Until late last year, I think the only people I loved unconditionally and without any reservations were my sons (and my grandson who was born in September of 2020). I am happy to report that I’ve greatly expanded both my ability to love unconditionally and my circle of those I love unconditionally.
It is now my belief that Love is the only reality. All the rest is just staying alive.
It is now my belief that Love = Energy = Creativity = Reality.
It is now my belief that Love is not an emotion or feeling. It is a state of being.
It is now my belief that Love flows. It is alive. It runs on freedom.
Understanding and embracing these epiphanies has me pondering this question:
When you go all-in with believing in Love, what happens?
Love would neither be magical nor formulaic.
Love would not be something to cling to or control.
Love would not be pursued or chased.
Love would not be denied or suppressed.
Love would not be an ideal or an object.
You would see namaste in everyone.
Fear, doubt, obligation, guilt, worry, shame would all be unnecessary.
Resources would shift. There would be a reprioritization of energy, time, attention.
Bliss would be the rule, not the exception.
There would be clear boundaries between Love and not-love.
Life would be much less time and task-bound.
There would be an endless flow of creativity.
You would choose it every day because there’s nothing better.
All of this can be summarized this way:
Love is not a theory. It is the nature and law of the mystical. It is the ultimate reality. And the ultimate state of the human soul.
I will close with my favorite definition of Love. I heard this about 25 years ago from a burly, straight-out-of-casting-central football coach at a conference. He approached the podium, pounded it with his fist and roared into the microphone, “Gentlemen! We are here to love these kids!” Then he said, “Love is 100% commitment to another person’s well-being.”
Now I get it. Now I believe it.